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Post by choi jaeryun on Nov 25, 2011 1:42:41 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r71/maggiesrpstuff/BACKGROUNDS/ea5ncojpg.png); width: 420px; padding-top: 10; padding-bottom: 10; border: #363636 solid 2px;] [div style="background-image:url(http://i43.tinypic.com/154ac2h.jpg); height: 250; width: 400; font-size: 0; background: -moz-linear-gradient(bottom, #d5d2d2, rgba(255,255,255,0), rgba(0,0,0,0)),url(http://i43.tinypic.com/154ac2h.jpg);[br"]-webkit-mask-image: -webkit-gradient(linear, left top, left bottom, from(rgba(0,0,1,1)), to(rgba(0,0,0,0)));]hi |
[/div] tearing love apart, Break ups were never good. No matter how amicable both parties were there will still be scars. But what happened if the break up was bad? Is there a term to even describe the break up. Jae preferred to call his current relationship status a tragedy. Or an apocalypse whichever sounded worse. He and Eunae had been dating for three months. The timespan was longer than most of the relationships in school, Jae thought they were actually going some where with this. Of course love is a bitch. As quickly as it finds you, it leaves you even faster. The question now is why? Why did she dump him. Jae wasn't bad looking. Several noonas had called him cute when he went to parties with his friends. Cute was a good thing right? Maybe not. Whatever, it couldn't have been because of his looks. Eunae was better than that. At least not the Eunae he knew. He didn't cheat on her. No way. He was better than that. Cheating men were disgusting he hated them so why would he be one of them. Right now, Jae the only thing he could reason out was a misunderstanding. But she had reacted so violently when she broke up with him. He had never seen her so pissed he was almost scared of her. Why? To be honest, he didn't want to agitate her further so he just left. Not because he didn't care but he just knew she had to be alone. It had been three weeks since that happened, he wanted to get some answers. Oh and finish the project too. He scanned the commons, looking for a familiar blonde. Where was she? It was important that she showed. Not because of personal reasons but because their dateline was in four days. It was near impossible to do a research paper in four days and sure as hell he couldn't do it alone. Why were they still partners? Because Prof Bong refused to change partners for them. So they were stuck with each other. He didn't know about Eun but he was determined to finish it. Even if it means making peace with her. He looked down at the peace making present. It was meant to be their four month anniversary present but given the current circumstances he called it a peace making present. It was a silver bracelet. For the peace making occasion he whipped up a batch of pink i'm sorry cupcakes with the help of Dam Deuk of course. He had done everything he could think of, right now he could only hope she wouldn't throw them at him. outfit, eunae! (i apologise dearly for my lateness) [/center][/td][/tr][/td][/tr][/table] THIS TEMPLATE WAS MADE BY WILMETTA OF CAUTION. [/center] |
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Post by ahn eunae on Nov 28, 2011 11:56:00 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style, background-color: #423c42;,true][cs=2] & YOU'RE NOT EVEN HUMAN ` YOU'RE JUST A LOVELY IDEA OF ONE WHO I ACCIDENTALLY LOVED AND GAVE EVERYTHING TO BECOME THE GIRL ON THE PIANO BENCH SINGING ALL OF
HER TEARS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - away | | [atrb=width,240] Eunae sat in her class room not listening to the teacher she was more spacing out. Her grade had fallen into pit her father was yelling at her every single day that she felt like her eyes were going to fall off. She still had to play fake girl in front of her friends and pretend everything was ok. Hoyoung was starting to tell her that they should get back together again.
After she hurt Jae, her friends figured they reason she dumped Jae was because he wasn't really that popular but really she had too much going on. And she felt bad for yelling out him and blaming him for everything but she couldn't tell him what was going on in her life. That was her life she couldn't tell other people what was wrong with her. She had to be the Barbie doll.
When a person looks at the Barbie doll is prefect, so she had to be prefect too. The worst thing about it was she had to meet up with Jae to work on the project and well she wasn't looking forward to it one bit. At home she tried to do research on her own and found a lot of articles that she had printed out for Jae that way it seemed like half the work was done. She really didn't understand why they had to meet up they could really just talk through emails and finish that way. But he wanted to and it would be rude for her not to go.
Eunae blinked for a second and looked around it seems as though class was over because now she sitting there by herself and everyone was gone. She moved and grabbed her stuff she really didn’t want to go, she knew he was in the commons so she to a turn and decided to go to the bathroom first. Fixing her outside and taking out the packet of papers she looked so tired in the mirror that she moved and pulled out a pair of sunglasses they were cute and kind of when with the outfit she had on so decided to put them on. Eunae took a deep breath and then walked out back into the commons she could see Jae, he seemed to have something in his hands and she really hope it wasn't for her.
She made her way over to him holding the packet of paper out to show him. "Hey so late night I did research on the project and I a couple of websites already" she said looking at him and then handing him the papers. She wanted to only stick to the project but she could tell the Jae wanted to talk about more she just didn't want to do it out in public with everyone around.
| [atrb=width,140]words ,471 words outfit ,herenotes ,hope it is ok | | [cs=2] |
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Post by choi jaeryun on Nov 29, 2011 5:34:06 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r71/maggiesrpstuff/BACKGROUNDS/ea5ncojpg.png); width: 420px; padding-top: 10; padding-bottom: 10; border: #363636 solid 2px;] [div style="background-image:url(http://i43.tinypic.com/154ac2h.jpg); height: 250; width: 400; font-size: 0; background: -moz-linear-gradient(bottom, #d5d2d2, rgba(255,255,255,0), rgba(0,0,0,0)),url(http://i43.tinypic.com/154ac2h.jpg);[br"]-webkit-mask-image: -webkit-gradient(linear, left top, left bottom, from(rgba(0,0,1,1)), to(rgba(0,0,0,0)));]hi |
[/div] tearing love apart,
He watched the blonde make her way over to him. She looked tired yet kind of intimidating to him. Maybe it was those glasses. It made her seem distant and aloof. That was the thing about sunglasses you couldn’t see ones eyes. Jae could only tell if someone was upset through their eyes. Right now, he was just as nervous, intimidated as ever. Actually he was nervous most of the time around strangers, presentations and interviews never did work for him. It was like his whole life revolved around the song ‘shy boy’. But to be fair that did not describe him all the time. Jae could be fun, outgoing and flirty even if he got to know the girl. He had plenty of childhood friends that he could be himself around and Eun used to be one of those girls, used to.
Before he knew it, she was standing there in front of him. It was like a flashback to when they were dating. He would be waiting for her in the commons and he’d walk her to the next class. But they weren’t doing that anymore. It was more of settling old scores. Oh and not to forget getting the project done, how could he have missed that? He tried to look past the sunglasses as he took the papers. ”Oh great” he replied half heartedly, slipping the papers and the gift into his folder in his bag. He wasn’t ready to give it to her just yet. Looking directly into her eyes. ”do you mind?” he asked tapping the side of her sunglasses gently. He wanted to talk and he sure as hell couldn’t do it with the sunglasses. Also, he realised that people were watching. News travelled fast around campus, who hooked up with who and who broke up with who. Usually it was the latter who travelled faster. People were staring but thankfully they still had their manners and tried to pretend that they weren’t. If you want to wash your dirty laundry do not do it in public, that was what people would say. Finding truth in that statement, he asked, ”Do you want to do our project in the library?”. The library was a great choice.
One it was hardly used these days because most students went to the cyber café a few streets down to do their homework nowadays. Two, there would be only a few people so if she were to begin shouting at him again, not many people would witness it. He had picked up a perfect girl vibe from her when they were dating. Everything had to seem perfect for Eunae. It was like she never had a bad day or even if she did, she would not show it, not even to him. It worried him sometime. Some people could go crazy from all that pressure especially if they kept it to themselves. He still liked Eunae as a friend, and he sure has hell didn’t want her to go crazy.
”Come on let’s go. he insisted, before she could decline. He had calmed down since the break up but he still wanted to know why. He was serious about getting work done though. He had promised himself not to let romance get in the way of his grades and he was going to keep that promise. ”We still need to get our work done no matter how much you hate me” he quipped, half jokingly half serious. Jae gave Eun a small smile before walking towards the library.
[/center][/td][/tr][/td][/tr][/table] THIS TEMPLATE WAS MADE BY WILMETTA OF CAUTION. |
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Post by ahn eunae on Nov 29, 2011 10:36:37 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style, background-color: #423c42;,true][cs=2] & YOU'RE NOT EVEN HUMAN ` YOU'RE JUST A LOVELY IDEA OF ONE WHO I ACCIDENTALLY LOVED AND GAVE EVERYTHING TO BECOME THE GIRL ON THE PIANO BENCH SINGING ALL OF
HER TEARS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - away | | [atrb=width,240]
Eunae held onto her lap top it was small Mac one but the cover was just so cute. Her father had bought it for her when she was going into college. He wanted to buy her a big lap top there was no way she was going to be able to carry it around. She really felt bad for hurt Jae she never wanted to do something like that to him. They had dated for a so long and she didn't want to break it up but she had to really. Her life could not fall now...she was the Barbie she had to forget about everything going on in her home life and pretend that everything was fine.
The only person that she ever talked to was the nanny she help her through everything. When she was at home she could act like herself. Eunae never brought friend home not even Jae ever went to her house she didn't like to mix those two things together she wanted her home like and her school like to be separate and she had done a really good job with it.
She had noticed when he went to take the papers he was trying to look at her eyes but she just turned her head. There was something in his hands that he was holding. But she couldn't tell what they were, she wondered if the rumors were true the college talked a lot and she had already heard that Jae had found another girlfriend. She wondered if that one was true.
It would really sting her heart if it was the quickly he found someone. But when she first heard it she kind of just laughed with her friends making it seem like she didn’t really could too much about it. Eunae felt the tap and looked at him "My eyes are hurting from the sun lightly in here, I forgot to put my contacts on today" she said looking to the side.
That was a huge lie, she didn't even use glasses but he didn't know that she figured. So it would not be a too much of a big deal. Eunae finally looked around and noticed how many people were looking around. Pretending not to look but they were looking, she thought how sad it was then when she looked to the side she noticed her friends all sitting around watching her.
This was nuts how were they going to finish their project when everyone was staring at them. Didn’t these people have class or something this was a college rightly? Jae had said something and she turned and looked at him for a second. The library would be a perfect place no one went there anymore and it would be empty and quiet. She gave him a small nodded about it.
Eunae started walking she felt really tried she wished she didn't wear her heels today but she always wore heels every day. If she wore something else someone would think something was wrong. "I need to buy a cup of tea first" she said walking next to him. She never drank coffee it would stain her teeth and she would never want something like that. Everything she did she always thought about the Barbie doll when she was out in public but at home she could open up to the real girl that she was.
Her thought were crushed when he said 'no matter how much you hate me' did he really think that. Eunae looked at him as she walked with him and then bit her lip as she noticed the small tea stand. “I will never hate you” she said moving over to the line where she orders a green tea. It didn’t take too long for her to get it she put two sugars in and ice cube that way when she drank it she would not burn her tongue.
Moments after she was back to Jae sip of her tea lightly as she starts walking to the library. She really didn’t understand why he didn’t have her just go to the library in the first place. Maybe he figured no one would look at them. Eunae thought that was funny, she never really dated many guy in her life just Jae and Hoyoung were the only guys she had date. She knew that in college or high school it was hard everyone want to know everything. That was why if she dated a guy she would date him or a long time.
| [atrb=width,140]words ,758 words outfit ,herenotes ,;D | | [cs=2] |
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Post by choi jaeryun on Nov 29, 2011 11:46:51 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r71/maggiesrpstuff/BACKGROUNDS/ea5ncojpg.png); width: 420px; padding-top: 10; padding-bottom: 10; border: #363636 solid 2px;] [div style="background-image:url(http://i43.tinypic.com/154ac2h.jpg); height: 250; width: 400; font-size: 0; background: -moz-linear-gradient(bottom, #d5d2d2, rgba(255,255,255,0), rgba(0,0,0,0)),url(http://i43.tinypic.com/154ac2h.jpg);[br"]-webkit-mask-image: -webkit-gradient(linear, left top, left bottom, from(rgba(0,0,1,1)), to(rgba(0,0,0,0)));]hi |
[/div] tearing love apart,
He nodded slowly as she told him about her contacts. ”Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked, brows furrowing in concern. It was an immediate switch from cold ex to boyfriend mode immediately. Normally he would insist she’d go home and get it fixed but they were really on a tight deadline. ”Circle lenses look ridiculous to me anyway” he told her. He assumed that Eunae wore circle lenses, most of her friends did. He had always thought they made eyes look rather fake and anime-ish. Oh well, girls and their beauty products, boys and their toys. For jae it was his camera but talking about that would be going off topic.
Nodding in response, he turned towards the tea line. He had always preferred coffee. Maybe that was just it, opposites attract? But that was just a thing of a past. Right now, the thing that was bothering him was that Eun seemed a little off. It was not the ‘I’m still mad at you so I’m ignoring you’ kind of thing but more of ‘I’m troubled don’t bug me’ kind of vibe she was giving him. Trying to lighten the atmosphere, ”I really don’t know how you stay awake to study late into the nights when you don’t drink coffee. What’s the secret to your madness?” he joked before ordering a cup of iced milk tea too.
When they both got their drinks, he began walking along with her. Jaeryun smiled when he heard her reply.”Really?” he asked, turning to look at her, genuinely surprised. It was nice to know that she wasn’t mad at him anymore. Now he just needed to know why she was mad at him before. Actually he had planned it all out. If he had met her at the library first, they would not have had a chance to talk. So meeting at the commons would give them sufficient of time to talk things out.
”I’m kind of relieved you showed up Eun” he told her honestly. He looked down at his half cup of tea unsure what to say. Then it struck him. ”I forgot. I got something for you” he said, throwing his tea into the nearby bin. He didn’t like tea. Jae just bought it because he was nervous. He reached into his bag and pulled out the items. He had wrapped the bracelet in pretty pink paper. She did like pink, that didn’t change very much. The three cupcakes were sitting there obediently in the box. He thanked his stars that they didn’t wreck. Thank god for holders. He gave them to her. ”They’re kind of like an…I’m sorry gift” he told her awkwardly, shifting his weight from one feet to another. It was a pretty bracelet and he could have given it to Jaehwa, his girlfriend but then again it wasn’t nice to reuse gifts. And he picked it out with Eunae in mind, it would not have been fair to the both of them.
Speaking of which, he glanced at his watch swiftly, 4.05 pm. He had 3 hours to finish the project and rush down to the studio. Maybe he could get Jaehwa to head directly to the restaurant first or maybe not. That would be the worst case scenario, he decided. He would try his best to rush everything. Damn it was hard trying to juggle so romance and grades at the same time. He secretly applauded those people who are able to two time, well up to the point where they get busted at least. He would never two time or cheat. At least he hoped he would never. He sure as hell did not cheat on Eun, he and Jaehwa got together 3 weeks after his break up. He helped Jaehwa assimilate into life in Korea and land a successful audition at YG. Who knew she would be the one to help him out of the break up and much less become his girlfriend. Life was definitely a crazy unexpected rollercoaster.
Jaeryun smiled awkwardly for what seemed to be the thousanth time today. ”I hope you like it he told her hopefully before walking ahead again. ”Oh and just ignore your friends for now you don’t have to constantly keep in mind what they think of you…or me” he said, trying to sound casual. He had heard the rumors that she had dumped him because he wasn’t cool enough but he chose not to believe them. Eun was not that kind of girl, she was too cool to be one.
[/center][/td][/tr][/td][/tr][/table] THIS TEMPLATE WAS MADE BY WILMETTA OF CAUTION. [/center] |
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Post by ahn eunae on Nov 29, 2011 15:43:55 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style, background-color: #423c42;,true][cs=2] & YOU'RE NOT EVEN HUMAN ` YOU'RE JUST A LOVELY IDEA OF ONE WHO I ACCIDENTALLY LOVED AND GAVE EVERYTHING TO BECOME THE GIRL ON THE PIANO BENCH SINGING ALL OF
HER TEARS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - away | | [atrb=width,240]
No one had asked her that question in long time, and she wanted to scream out no. She wanted to say that she was scared that she was going to fail school and lose her friends. And that she was going to going to be the perfect Barbie doll anymore. But she just smiled at him. Her fake smile that he never knew was fake. "I'm fine" she said turning and sipping on her tea.
She nodded her head to the circle lenses part and she wondered if he really thought she wore those. Didn't he ever look at her eyes he would have noticed it. Her friend wore them but she thought it was really stupid plus her father wouldn't let her buy them even if she wanted to.
"Drink coffee stains your teeth plus it’s like a drug for some people. And you don't want to know the secrets of being me or stay up late" she said sighing and taking another sip of her drink. She really wondered if she would ever be able to get that guy that she would be able to tell anything to. Jae wasn't it seeing that even her lies he believed she needed to have someone that could see through her bull shit was a good word to use.
"Jae really wishes I could tell you but..." she stop what was she supposes to say that she was under too much pressure and what did it matter the rumor had to be true. He found someone else so quickly. She was never special to him so she needs to act like a big girl. What would Barbie do she fined a new Ken not worry about it one bit? "But oh coarse never hate you never did anything wrong" she said smiling but he did do things wrong he could never see through her lies of saying everything ok and I'm fine don't worry.
Eunae was sipping on her tea when she heard what he said. He got her something. Why in the world would he do that? She just looked at it and when he said that they were I'm sorry kind of gifts she felt the tears come. She didn’t take them from him she didn't want them. "Why would you do this?" she said biting down her lip she moved and threw away her tea it was still full but she wasn't in any mood to drink it. There was no one around so she was happy for that she looked and saw the cup cakes but she didn’t want to see what was wrapped up.
"Why would give me something like this when you already have girl friend? When you already were so quick to find someone? Never though for one second that something could be wrong with me. Come on Jae you have to be dumb to think I wear contacts haven’t you ever looked in my eyes." she said screaming at him.
She could feel the tears falling leaving her sunglasses. He so stupid...boys were so stupid it hurt her to know that he found someone so quick. That was how she meant to him like she was no0thing. "Let’s just get done with this project and then you don't ever have to see me again. You and your girlfriend can be happy ever after" she said walking into the library. She moved and placed a hand over her mouth as she started to walk to the back of the room. She had to stop these tears it was good.
| [atrb=width,140]words ,595 words outfit ,herenotes ,;D | | [cs=2] |
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Post by choi jaeryun on Nov 29, 2011 23:04:31 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r71/maggiesrpstuff/BACKGROUNDS/ea5ncojpg.png); width: 420px; padding-top: 10; padding-bottom: 10; border: #363636 solid 2px;] [div style="background-image:url(http://i43.tinypic.com/154ac2h.jpg); height: 250; width: 400; font-size: 0; background: -moz-linear-gradient(bottom, #d5d2d2, rgba(255,255,255,0), rgba(0,0,0,0)),url(http://i43.tinypic.com/154ac2h.jpg);[br"]-webkit-mask-image: -webkit-gradient(linear, left top, left bottom, from(rgba(0,0,1,1)), to(rgba(0,0,0,0)));]hi |
[/div] tearing love apart,
”Okay…if you say so” he replied and shrugged. He didn’t think she was fine, she looked fine, said she was fine. Was there any reason to doubt that she wasn’t? No he didn’t think so. Besides being too concerned about her might send off the wrong idea. The last thing he needed was for Eun to think he was still in love with her. I mean yes he still cared a lot about her as a friend or an ex but he still had to draw a line and not push it.
”I don’t think I would want to be a girl so just tell me your secret to staying up late” he mused out loud then he stopped. ”But?” he asked curiously. [/b]”But what?”[/b]. This was killing him. Should he just ask her straight out. No that was just pushing it. Despite her insistence that everything was okay, Jae had a nagging feeling that it wasn’t. He should not agitate her further, much less tell her that he had a new girlfriend. Well it wasn’t that he had moved on that quickly. I mean he did get over his feelings for Eun, it just absolved itself much more quickly with Jaehwa around and things just happened. Well that was a complete change of mood he thought to himself. She was smiling again, and he decided not to open his mouth any further. It seemed like the more he talked the more awkward this would get. He just nodded slowly at what she just said. But of course he got the better of himself, ”Eun…” he began unsure of what to say. ”Don’t lie there must be something I did wrong…”, why did you break up with me? Was what he wanted to continue with but decided not to. The direct approach never did work well for Jaeryun. His eyes widened at her sudden outburst. It was like he had agitated her to her boiling point and now she was about to erupt, like a volcano. He stood there in shock, still holding the items, letting her scream at him. Her words hurt, they did. Why? What the? He was at a loss for words. ”How?... was what he managed to say. How did all these come about? How did Eun know? How could he have been so oblivious. Okay maybe it did have something to do with his personality. When something went wrong, he had always took the blame upon himself. It was one of those things that came with insecurity. Maybe he was on to something after all. Maybe there was something bothering Eun, something more than him. Okay that was it how could he have accused her of not caring or not noticing. He stuffed the items into the bag and followed her into the library where it was practically deserted. Ignoring her comment about the starting, he grabbed her by the wrist and turned her around so that she would face him. First things first, he took the sunglasses off gently, set them on a nearby table and took a good look at her eyes. She wasn’t wearing contacts now for sure but she was crying. Jae hated himself so much right now. Okay she said it was her problem that ended the relationship but right now, it seemed much of his shit as hers. He had to set things straight. ”And you’d have to be dumb to think that I’d actually didn’t notice.” he told her, raising his voice slightly. Realising that there was no need to shout he continued, ”You have beautiful eyes, one of those girls who didn’t need those contacts. You have been off these days Eun, what’s going on? I’d just let your lies slide because I respected your privacy. I know there are some things you want to keep to yourself and so I let it go. But sometimes I ask myself if I had done the right thing. Right now it seemed like I hadn’t. Maybe that’s why we’re over because I didn’t show how much I cared” he said to her, looking her straight in the eyes, still keeping his death grip on her. [/div] [/center][/td][/tr][/td][/tr][/table] THIS TEMPLATE WAS MADE BY WILMETTA OF CAUTION. [/center] |
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Post by ahn eunae on Nov 29, 2011 23:45:05 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style, background-color: #423c42;,true][cs=2] & YOU'RE NOT EVEN HUMAN ` YOU'RE JUST A LOVELY IDEA OF ONE WHO I ACCIDENTALLY LOVED AND GAVE EVERYTHING TO BECOME THE GIRL ON THE PIANO BENCH SINGING ALL OF
HER TEARS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - away | | [atrb=width,240]
Eunae thought how sad it was that it was so easy for her to say that she was fine and he believed her every single time. She was kind of happy in way that her lies always came true around Jae but she also wished that in the pass he would have tried to pull them out.
Eunae knew the right guy would be the one that would see through all of it so Jae could not have been the right guy if he never looked through it. He had the looks and he was really smart too...she knew her father would have loved Jae but he didn't see pass her lies. That was something she couldn't have plus the fact that her father was been screaming out her for days almost weeks now.
She lived with the pressure in high school but this was just too much she was cracking slowly falling apart. Eunae wasn't too sure how much more she could take of this. Her father was putting her through and there was no way she could hell back at him that was something to get hit for and worst kicked out.
She just had not been sleeping or eating because she was so worried with everything going on. She laughed "Ice is the only think you need to stay up late" she said smiling brightly at him. It was really silly and most people didn't believe her but Eunae would get a bunch of and wrap it in a bag. Then she put it on the back on her neck or face and she would just wake her up right away.
He seemed to hear the but part but she pretend like she never heard it, what was she going to tell him the truth. He didn’t want to hear...no one ever did. She was pulled of guard a bit from what he said next but she kind of just looked at the ground.
Jae was a great guy and his girlfriend must be so happy to be with him. But she just couldn't bring herself to say how much...so many times she wished he would have stopped her and told her to tell him what was wrong. He had so many times to do it but he never did it once.
With all her yelling at him she just watched as he stood there looking and she heard the word how come out of his mouth. "The school talks and once they see you with another girl they put two and two together. You didn't even wait...I meant nothing to you" saying those words she knew she hurt him but by the time she made it to the library she couldn’t do anything about it.
She really couldn’t see that well anymore. The tears were falling and they were going to be going anywhere that was for sure. Eunae couldn’t go home so she was just freaking out she didn’t know what else to do.
As she was turning another corner she felt Jae grab her wrist and spin her around she moved and felt him pull off her sunglasses. He was going to find crying, worried, scared and tired eyes looking back at him.
She was a total mess right now she had never showed anyone this side before and it scared her to death knowing this. Eunae looked down at the ground her hair falling in front of her face she was so happy she didn't put it up today.
She listens to him and she moved to pulled away but he was holding onto her really well. "You’re right it is too late, I need you before to break through my lies about being ok but you never did. You never tried until now that you have someone else" she said looking at him. She finally pulled out his grip and stood back as she fell to the ground rest on her knees looking down at her hands.
Her tears ran down faster now. "Failing my classes..." she said biting on the inside of her lip anyone who knew anything about her father would know that failing was not in their family. That was not a word they knew or spoke of.
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Post by choi jaeryun on Nov 30, 2011 2:00:01 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r71/maggiesrpstuff/BACKGROUNDS/ea5ncojpg.png); width: 420px; padding-top: 10; padding-bottom: 10; border: #363636 solid 2px;] [div style="background-image:url(http://i43.tinypic.com/154ac2h.jpg); height: 250; width: 400; font-size: 0; background: -moz-linear-gradient(bottom, #d5d2d2, rgba(255,255,255,0), rgba(0,0,0,0)),url(http://i43.tinypic.com/154ac2h.jpg);[br"]-webkit-mask-image: -webkit-gradient(linear, left top, left bottom, from(rgba(0,0,1,1)), to(rgba(0,0,0,0)));]hi |
[/div] tearing love apart,
He took a deep breath as she told him how she found out about Jaehwa. So he kind of busted himself, I mean rumors travelled but if you didn’t acknowledge them, they would always be hanging in the air just like that. Now that it was out in the open, he guessed as much that she was hurt and falling apart. It hurt him to see that, to see that she was broken and he was doing nothing to help. He finally saw her broken pieces but he was just as helpless as she was. It was useless defending himself, he did move on too fast but it just happened. Maybe their break up was the triggering point for Jaehwa and him.
But he had to set the record straight. ”After you broke up with me I was hurt. If you didn’t mean anything I wouldn’t be hurting to see you like this” That was true. Eun meant something to him. There was a reason they started dating and it was because of mutual attraction. He knew that being a good boyfriend meant protecting her but how do you protect someone who doesn’t let you protect her?
He frowned with immense worry as he saw her eyes. Raw emotion. Fear; anger; anxiety; restlessness. He had never seen her like this before and honestly it scared him. He wasn’t scared of her. He was scared for her. He finally felt the gravity of the situation and couldn’t help but worry for her.
The openness did not last long. Her hair fell in front of her face, like a shield. There she went again, hiding herself from the world. For once Jae has figured it out, she was not perfect. She was like any other girl, who needed someone to protect her and tell her it was okay. It seemed inappropriate to start now so he kept to himself, restraining himself from hugging her.
He really didn’t know what to say except, ”I’m sorry” he said quietly, unable to take his eyes off her. The fact that she kept mentioning Jaehwa was a clear sign that she was hurt and angry. He didn’t like it that Jaehwa was dragged into this but he decided against voicing that out in his better judgment.
”I’m really sorry Eun…for everything”.
When she spoke about failing, his heart sank. So it wasn’t just him. Knowing that words were useless know, he sat down next to her and placed an arm around her. He pulled her closer to him, ”It’s okay, it’s not the end of the world” he was finally doing what he was supposed to have done. Consider it atonement for his obliviousness. He also had a rough idea how this was about to impact Eun. Her dad was strict and she was afraid of him. When they were dating, she could never sleep over or stay out to late. Her reasons always had something to do with her dad. He admired her for being so filial but at the same time he sensed fear. Failing was probably unheard of in her family, that’s why she was so afraid. He looked down at the blonde, crying. She had never cried in front of him before, never. It made him feel sad. He hugged her tightly, ”I’m sorry…I really am”
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Post by ahn eunae on Nov 30, 2011 9:13:03 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style, background-color: #423c42;,true][cs=2] & YOU'RE NOT EVEN HUMAN ` YOU'RE JUST A LOVELY IDEA OF ONE WHO I ACCIDENTALLY LOVED AND GAVE EVERYTHING TO BECOME THE GIRL ON THE PIANO BENCH SINGING ALL OF
HER TEARS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - away | | [atrb=width,240] She wanted to say hurtful words to him but she felt that it was right. She had already had thoughts about how Jae was lying. If he was hurt why did he go running into other women arms? But it was time to move on she was the one who ended it she need to keep reminding herself this.
It was Jae who broke it off but he still go the better end of all this. In the end she broke her own rule to never cry in front of anyone. This was one of the worst days she had ever had. To cry at school what if someone else saw those if they say her like this her life would be over. Eunae was a broken Barbie she wasn't supposed to be like this.
The words sorry kept coming out of his mouth. But she just kept shaking her head at him. She wants to hurt the words sorry. She wanted to hear something else. She didn't know what that was but she just knew she wanted to hear something else.
Eunae wanted to go home at this point run to her room and just escape but even her own house wasn't a place she wanted to be in with her father around she always wanted to leave and get away. She didn't really have any place to go to but she kind of wanted to just get away everyone.
Was he crazy if she failed at college or becoming a doctor whom she really didn't want to do what would she do with the rest of her life? She felt him hug her tightly as she moved and leaned into it. Her tears had stopped but she knew when she went hope she would cry more.
She moved and wiped her eyes a bit, she was so happy she didn't wear makeup. She never really wore that much make up to begin with but this was one of those times that she really was happy she had none on. She moved her hand and grabbed her glasses as she slipped them on.
She didn't want to talk to him with red eyes that weren’t cute and she knew it. "Just don't tell anyone" she said pulling back. She wished she didn't through away her tea now she really kind of needs something to drink.
Oh well she thought to herself as she rubbed her cheeks from any tears that were slipping down. Eunae took a couple of deep breaths and she finally stood up leaning and the side of the wall. She looked out the window for a bit she really wasn't sure if she could be near Jae for any time soon.
She just cried in front of him, showing her weak side to ex that was never a good thing to do. Now she was kind of clue less what was she suppose to say. "There so much I could say about this but it would just be waste of your time and mind. Just kind of find that for you to finally break through to me and it all too late at the same time.But I'll be ok been through so much worst" she said smiling a bit as she looked at him.
She moved and grabs her back and lap top as she looked at him. "Guess we she would on the project before the deadline comes any closer" she said shrugging lightly. Everything would be find she would never talk about this moment to anyone.
Jae would leave this school knowing nothing more, it was just far too dangerous for him to know more. She had to stay the Barbie no matter how much she had bottle up inside of her.
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Post by choi jaeryun on Nov 30, 2011 9:46:54 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r71/maggiesrpstuff/BACKGROUNDS/ea5ncojpg.png); width: 420px; padding-top: 10; padding-bottom: 10; border: #363636 solid 2px;] [div style="background-image:url(http://i43.tinypic.com/154ac2h.jpg); height: 250; width: 400; font-size: 0; background: -moz-linear-gradient(bottom, #d5d2d2, rgba(255,255,255,0), rgba(0,0,0,0)),url(http://i43.tinypic.com/154ac2h.jpg);[br"]-webkit-mask-image: -webkit-gradient(linear, left top, left bottom, from(rgba(0,0,1,1)), to(rgba(0,0,0,0)));]hi |
[/div] tearing love apart,
The silence seemed to last forever. It was a scary quiet as Jae held on to Eun. It seemed like she was finally broken, after all this while. Everyone had a breaking point, it seemed like she had reached it. Maybe it was his fault but maybe not. When you reach that point, it was only right to let it out. Keeping it in would only make a person go crazy. He did not want her to go crazy. He still cared, as a friend to say the least.
But as expected, the moment did not last long. Jae watched in silent amazement as she pieced herself back together. It was insane how she could pick herself up like that. Transforming back into that…perfect person. Barbie doll. That was it. It finally clicked in his mind. Eun reminded him of a Barbie doll. So eerily perfect. She was trying to be perfect. Jae did not know much about girls, but most girls would not have been that quick to wipe up their tears. He had to admit, Eun was one of the strongest girls he had ever known.
So there she was, pieced back prettily together. The Eun that everyone loved. Right now, he didn’t seem to love that. She should not be forcing herself to do this. A part of him wanted to voice that out but another part of him knew she would never listen. ”I won’t I promise” he told her quietly, watching her put her glasses back on. The final piece. After all this, he was disappointed. Disappointed in himself for letting her carry on, disappointed in her for not seeing that imperfection was in a way beauty. It made everyone unique.
The setting sun hit her as she stood up. 5pm. Sunset always came early during winter. Jae watched Eun look out the window. She was hiding from him, should he find her?
He was blind. Was blind. Now he could see what was really behind that smile she gave him but it was too late. Jaeryun got up too and leaned on the opposite wall. He wanted to ask her about so many things but did not know where or how to begin. He began with the easiest, ”Much worst” he raised his eyebrows in curiosity. For godsakes was he ever dating her? Why did she seem like such a complete stranger? To be honest, Jae liked this stranger more actually.
”Yeah we should…”. After what had happened, you had to be crazy to have any heart to do work. Jae wasn’t crazy, he was guilty. Like any guilty person, he had to make amends. He started walking towards the table, thinking of ways to broach the subject. ”you know lovers are just really close friends with a little p.d.a involved…” he said randomly. ”So right now, we’re just really close friends with no p.d.a involved he was fishing for something just what? And friends help each other with their problems much less close friends…so if you have a problem…well I’m here for you now” he told shyly, unsure of how she would react.
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Post by ahn eunae on Nov 30, 2011 11:56:15 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style, background-color: #423c42;,true][cs=2] & YOU'RE NOT EVEN HUMAN ` YOU'RE JUST A LOVELY IDEA OF ONE WHO I ACCIDENTALLY LOVED AND GAVE EVERYTHING TO BECOME THE GIRL ON THE PIANO BENCH SINGING ALL OF
HER TEARS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - away | | [atrb=width,240]
Hearing that he wouldn’t tell anyone made her feel more relaxed but she was still worried this was huge side of her that no one ever got to see. Her nanny helps her through everything it was the only person she ever got to trust. When she was at home and her parents were around it was just Eunae, her brother and the nanny was the best time she felt so much like herself.
She could wear whatever she wanted to. And she didn’t need to worry about if someone was not going to like her outfit or how she was acting. But when she was at school or outside of her house it became Barbie with bleaching her hair it just add on more what kind of person she wanted to be.
Everyone at school liked her so she wasn’t doing anything wrong with it; she had been this one for so long that it was really easy to be like this. For her to break down now it was just something she would move forward and worry about it later on. She would be find she did her little break down and now she was better.
She had to be strong that was all there was to be worried about she needed to snap back into her Barbie form. It not like anyone really knew that she was trying to be like Barbie or anything like that. Eunae looked over at Jae of coarse she saw the eyebrow raise and she just smiled and shook her head to it. “I have been through a lot of stuff in my life. I guess it just a build up this time I have ways of letting it out” she said.
Her nanny was worried about those ways but Jae didn’t need to know that. It wasn’t like she cutting herself or drinking herself to death. She had to doctors living in her house there been no way she was going to harm herself. It was more locking herself in her room or sleeping for whole weekend sometimes even going shopping and buying things that she really didn’t need.
For her it was just a way to let everything out and it always worked. She even got to meet some people that she would have thought that she would have never met before. But Jae was just an ex now so she had to talk to him like one. She couldn’t hug him or do any of that stuff that she used to do with him before.
Eunae walked over to the table and sat down as she pulled on her small Mac lap top it was white with a cute hello kitty sticker on it. Some thought it would be pink but she had chose to keep it white she thought it look nicer like that. She moved and turned it on and then she pulled her powder make out. She removed her sunglasses and placed so make up around her eyes.
She took out this bottle and placed two drop in each of her eyes. They made at the red veins gone, she wasn’t sure if it was good for her eyes but it made them so white and now she could look at Jae without her sunglasses on anymore. As he started talking again a part of her wanted to put them back on.
“Jae…how do I put this? I have two lives one you know about and then there is my other life and the only person that will ever know about it is if they come to my house. Friends and family at separate they don’t mix“ she said looking at him. He wasn’t really going to find out and why did he care now it was her confused he never cared before.
She moved and went on the internet and then looked back over at him. “I had small break down I let it out in the wrong way but why care now. Close friends know everything about each other and you know nothing about me…even when we were dating you don’t know much and were not dating so why do you care to know about me now when there is not point” she said him wondering because she didn’t see how it would happen if he knew or didn’t know.
In the end they were leave this room and not really see one another unless they need to. That would really be it. It seemed silly plus she didn’t even know if she could trust him with telling him everything that was going on. What if he told his girlfriend and then she told someone and so on so on? There was no way she could have that happen.
Eunae wasn’t stupid once you tell one person then everyone knows. Kind of like how Jae thought she wouldn’t find out that he had a girl friend.
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Post by choi jaeryun on Nov 30, 2011 21:31:22 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r71/maggiesrpstuff/BACKGROUNDS/ea5ncojpg.png); width: 420px; padding-top: 10; padding-bottom: 10; border: #363636 solid 2px;] [div style="background-image:url(http://i43.tinypic.com/154ac2h.jpg); height: 250; width: 400; font-size: 0; background: -moz-linear-gradient(bottom, #d5d2d2, rgba(255,255,255,0), rgba(0,0,0,0)),url(http://i43.tinypic.com/154ac2h.jpg);[br"]-webkit-mask-image: -webkit-gradient(linear, left top, left bottom, from(rgba(0,0,1,1)), to(rgba(0,0,0,0)));]hi |
[/div] tearing love apart,
He nodded slowly at her explaination. ”Okay if you say so…” he replied with a small smile. It wasn’t like he could pry any further. If there was one thing he gathered from this conversation, it was that Eun hated him for not being there. So why would she tell him about much worse? She would not. But he still cared. Why didn’t she get that. You don’t have to be boyfriend girlfriend to care about someone. You could be friends. A lot of exes were still friends why didn’t she want to?
Wow. Girls were hard to figure out. At this point, Jae felt like giving up and just taking Eun for what she was saying. It would make his life much easier. He could get started on the project and leave at 7pm. Once this project was over, he had nothing more to do with Eun. A part of him wanted that, but a part of him didn’t.
He sorted through the papers she had given him, combining them with his own research. While doing this, he snuck a glance and caught her putting powder on. He sighed softly before going back to reading the papers. Why did she have to do that? Why couldn’t she just leave it… she looks fine to me he thought to himself. Of course what he thought of her did not matter anymore.
He began placing the research into the appropriate stacks. The research actually covered 1/3 of the work done so they had 2/3 to go. He had caught the root of what she was saying, ‘no stay out of my life’. ”then let me go to your house. he told her simply, it seemed like the most direct way to get to her problems. Now he needed an excuse, ”It doesn’t look like we’re going to finish by 7pm anyway”. Oh shit, he hadn’t told her that he had to leave by 7. This was going to be good.
”It was never because I didn’t care. It was because I didn’t know… until we finally cracked that was when I started to notice what was wrong. Give me a chance to make things right? As a close friend. You need one who knows you for you” had he hit it on the head? Did she really need a friend who knew how vulnerable she actually was. Jae was never good at expressing himself. Realising how emotional that actually sounded, he quickly averted his gaze back to the stack of papers. He was done with them. ”I guess this is done, we still need to type out our report and findings” he told her looking back up at Eun.
He quickly glanced at his watch, 5.45pm. Damn. 1h 45 minutes to go. He took his phone out and placed in on the table in case Jae called when training ended early. Unlikely, training was never easy. Ended late more likely. He made a mental note to grab a box of reese’s peanut butter cups if he had the time. She liked that candy and he figured she could use it after a long day of training.
Jaeryun set his phone on vibrate, before turning his attention back to Eun.
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Post by ahn eunae on Nov 30, 2011 22:03:34 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style, background-color: #423c42;,true][cs=2] & YOU'RE NOT EVEN HUMAN ` YOU'RE JUST A LOVELY IDEA OF ONE WHO I ACCIDENTALLY LOVED AND GAVE EVERYTHING TO BECOME THE GIRL ON THE PIANO BENCH SINGING ALL OF
HER TEARS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - away | | [atrb=width,240]
Eunae had looked at the time, she still had to get the train and walk home. Most people would have thought that she had a car but no she took the train every single day. She had thought about getting a car it wasn't like she didn’t know how to drink it.
She just knew it wasn’t the right time to ask for one. It seemed like all this work with how she was feeling about him had got in the way. She wasn't sure if she could be able to handle it anymore. This day did not turn out like she wanted to. Eunae knew when she went home she just go to bed there was no room for food at this moment.
She kind of looked at her key board let him come to her house. If she really thought about it she could let him come. He could come over on a Saturday her brother would be home but her parents wouldn't be around. He would be the first person she ever brought home.
She wasn't sure if that would be a good idea or bad. It took her a long time to think about it. Having home come over he see the true side of her but it would also rise of flag that he would know too much about her too.
When he said they were going to finished she had kind of figured that they would work until they got it done. He never told her that he had work to do or had to be somewhere else. It would have been nice to know. She could have well no she would have planned to get later on train then. But it wasn’t like that was such a big deal, though sometimes being on the train scared her if someone were to hurt her or something like that.
"You have somewhere else to be?" she asked him but it was almost like she already knew the answer to the question. They would have to still meet up again. She really could not believe was she was about to do. As she closed her lap top she moved and pulled out pieces of paper writing something down before ripping it and placing it in front of him. It was her address shocking this was a new step for her.
Eunae moved and looked at him "You can come by Saturday or Sunday but Saturday are much better...You can see what I'm like Jae but you can never tell anyone. Not even your girlfriend if ever find out that you told anyone about this day or what like at home...I will never told to you again" she said smiling lightly at him. She really like to have two different lives but maybe it would be ok just to have one friend see her that other side.
She moved and looked up at the clock. "I probably could get the 6:30 train instead of the seven" she spoke more to herself but she knew he could hear it too. She couldn't wait to get in her bed and go to sleep.
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Post by choi jaeryun on Nov 30, 2011 22:43:29 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r71/maggiesrpstuff/BACKGROUNDS/ea5ncojpg.png); width: 420px; padding-top: 10; padding-bottom: 10; border: #363636 solid 2px;] [div style="background-image:url(http://i43.tinypic.com/154ac2h.jpg); height: 250; width: 400; font-size: 0; background: -moz-linear-gradient(bottom, #d5d2d2, rgba(255,255,255,0), rgba(0,0,0,0)),url(http://i43.tinypic.com/154ac2h.jpg);[br"]-webkit-mask-image: -webkit-gradient(linear, left top, left bottom, from(rgba(0,0,1,1)), to(rgba(0,0,0,0)));]hi |
[/div] tearing love apart,
He smiled sheepishly, ”Yeah…I have a dinner appointment” he told her casually. It really was not necessary to tell her it was a date. I mean what was the point of doing that. Now that they have both calmed down it seemed like things were sunny again. He didn’t know how Eun really felt about him but he was happy to leave things as they were. What really shocked him was what she did next.
He stared at the paper, wide-eyed. Her address. He looked up at her expectedly, ”Wow” he managed to say, scratching his head trying to gather his thoughts. ”Awesome…Saturday it is. The dateline is next Monday anyway” he said, nodding to what she was saying. ”Don’t worry she is too busy anyway and who else will I tell. I’m not that high on the social food chain” he told her with a reassuring smile, finally addressing the fact that he had a girlfriend. He was not going to mess this friend thing up, maybe this friendship would go even better than their relationship.
”Oh hey… he began, ”Before you get on the train take it” he said, reaching into his bag and pulling out the gift. ”It’s not much but I baked them for you in mind and the gift was for you too…before everything happened so you should accept it” he told her shyly, placing them in front of her. ”Take them as a ‘hi we’re close friends’ presents, no hard feelings?” he asked with a smile, wanting to put this all behind him. He was going to be a good friend to Eun. He sure as hell could not make all her problems disappear but he could definitely lend her a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on if she ever needed one.
”You look tired don’t try to hide it, I’ll come over around 11 and try to finish it up then? Go home and get some sleep it’s been a long day for you I guess?” he suggested hopefully. ”Don’t use that ice trick to stay up, trust me with this stellar report I don’t think you’ll be failing classes anytime soon” he said to her, partially serious but still with a smile. He began packing the papers into his bag, ”If anyone should be staying up it’s me I’ll try to sort these out better and get a head start on things. You my friend need to rest” he muses out loud.
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